Combating Loneliness

By Cynthia Schepers

The Loneliness Epidemic

Loneliness is an epidemic we all face – especially now that we have the technology to ensure we don’t have to go outside or interact with others. Even inventions such as the ATM have helped us have a way to avoid interactions with strangers. While on the surface it may not seem important that we interact with a bank teller, we are closing ourselves off from an opportunity to brighten someone else’s day, or even ours.

Another challenge in this regard, that we are just beginning to cope with, are the effects of the recent pandemic. Even though it has been years, people had gotten used to social distancing and companies had improved their virtual work spaces that allow us to continue to work from home even years later. We may never go back to a world where most jobs take place in an office space, so it is crucial that we take the initiative to step outside of our comfort zone and prioritize making connections with others.

Stepping Outside the Social Distancing Bubble

Some examples of things you can do to step outside the social distancing bubble are: Go into the office even when it is not mandatory, if you don’t have an office space it could be a good option to go to your local coffee shop, or meeting up with a friend with similar work expectations. Another thing you can do is to avoid mobile ordering or checkout when possible and focus on the interaction you could have with a cashier. I find that when I do that, people are often surprised by my cheery and inquisitive disposition and it makes me realize how in need of kindness the world is right now.

I know our phone can be a source of comfort when in an awkward situation, but looking up and asking how the other person in the elevator is, is a great way to boost one or both of your days. Putting our phone down when others are around helps us be aware of our surroundings and potential friendships we could make. Sometimes keeping your phone in your pocket helps you notice small details about another person that would make you realize they would have common interests. It could become a small hello you look forward to each working day or it could blossom into an authentic bond that you treasure deeply.

Making Small Connections

When we think about combating loneliness, making long-term friends is not the only way, sometimes it is about the small connections you make throughout your day. Also contributing to your community is a great way to help you feel like you are a part of something and have the ability to make an impact. Finding a way to contribute to your community in a group setting is beneficial as well.

I personally found a lot of benefit from joining True Up’s Peer Network many years ago, and not only made friends, but also turned it into a career where I am surrounded by people who share my mission and values. True Up also helped me find my voice and a purpose for my story, which I now use to advocate for myself and others with foster care experience.

Finding someone who could use your company is also a great way to ensure you’re not lonely either. You could visit a relative or neighbor who you know struggles on their own or volunteer at a nursing home and make an otherwise unlikely friendship.

Service Animals

Another route that people go to combat loneliness is getting a pet, Emotional Support Animal (ESA), or sometimes even a service animal. When considering this option it is important to have all the facts.

When considering which to get you have to consider a few things: Do you have a disability that your doctor or mental health treatment team would recommend being treated by an ESA? Do you need to take your working animal into public? If so, could you afford the money or time to train the dog to be under control in public? Out of pets, ESAs, and service animals, only a service animal will be able to go out in public with you.

I have a service dog myself, her name is Winnie and we have been working together for over a year now and definitely have our share of hardships. Working with a service dog can be rewarding but also challenging. You have to set really strong boundaries as people will feel entitled to touch your service animal without your permission and regardless of any signage on their vest. That is just one example of opposition that I did not face until getting a service dog that you will have to consider before making such a large commitment.

When you have a service animal you are always training them. It is not as simple as paying someone else to do that work for you because they will need to learn how to work with you specifically and grow a keen sense of your smell and hormone levels. Having the opportunity to train your own service dog, even partially, can help you develop a bond that is sure to be strong. A service dog is not something you get just to combat loneliness, they should be able to perform specific tasks to mitigate your qualifying disability. However, if that is the best choice for you and your lifestyle, service dogs can also offer great support in that regard.

Emotional Support Animals

If you would not have any difficulties affording an animal, an ESA is a really good option. It is important to mention these animals will not have public access but they will have housing rights (such as waived pet fees and ability to have them in your apartment even if they have no pet rules). When it comes to an ESA, never pay for an online certification, those are likely scams. To have an ESA you will only need documentation from a doctor or mental health professional that you would benefit from the service or support they provide. If you are not regularly connected to a doctor or therapist, a pet is still a good option but it will not be able to be in places that do not allow pets, or have any housing rights.

Pets will still help combat loneliness with their comforting presence as well as needing your care which can help you feel more valuable. Make sure you are equipped to take care of any pet or animal you bring into your home. If you are unsure whether or not you are able to afford a comfort animal, ask any people you know that take good care of their animals. You could also write up a budget for yourself detailing the new expenses you would encounter once you brought your new animal home.

Summarizing Tips for Combating Loneliness